I have to say that recently I’ve been very disappointed in our local police. Why, you ask? Well I’ll tell you. Stupid criminal names are rampant. The most recent example is “The Handsome Guy Bandit,” so called because he wore a latex mask when he robbed banks. Really? That’s the best name you could come up with? Why not, “The Guy Who Robs Banks Robber?” He’s been caught, but I wonder if he let himself get caught so people wouldn’t use that stupid name whenever he robbed a bank in future. Oh! I know! How about “The Pistol Wielding Bandit!” That’s much better, don’t you think?
Seriously, it’s like recently they’re just phoning it in when it comes to making up names for criminals. Don’t they have to take a class on that in the police academy? Naming Criminals 101. Because guys, when you catch “The Handsome Guy Bandit,” it isn’t nearly as impressive as something like, say… “The Hollywood Bandit.” Now there’s a bandit you could be proud of catching.