The death of a friend.

This was a day that truly sucked. This morning I was driving to work. Stopped in the lane next to me was a white van filled with some adults with various mental disabilities. I think they were heading to a job under those work programs for the handicapped. One of them was rocking back and forth like he had autism, so of course I started thinking about when Morgan grows up and what things will be like for him. Well that just set the tone for the day. I’m feeling melancholy now as I dive into work to keep my mind off it. I know that if I think about it I’ll start crying and blubbering and I’ll be an emotional train wreck for the rest of the day. It’s working pretty good, I’m not sliding into anything deep that I can’t wade out of.

However, now I just learned that an old friend of Ash and mine died shortly after we moved to Texas. It’s a real blow and I’m pretty sad about it. I really liked Bill, even though he was a bit “eccentric”. It was part of his charm. He was a really good artist and loved to draw. I still have some of his drawings, so I guess I’ll treasure them more than ever now. He was a very old and dear friend of Ash. I only met him after I met Ash, but she knew him for years before I came on the scene. Still, I like him, too and I’m pretty sad that he’s dead. I don’t have all the details, but it looks like it was a suicide. I’ll find out more this evening.

I’m even more pissed off that we just found out about it. He’s been dead for years and no one bothered to let us know. I know we moved away from New Hampshire, but someone could have called. I’m going to get the full details from Ash when I get home from work today, so for now I’m just feeling melancholy. It’s like someone whacked me in the chest and now its just hollow. Stack this on top of what I’ve been keeping a tight reign on with Morgan, and today now officially sucks.

I should probably just go home. I can’t really work right now.